


Alastor, Autism and an Ace Author

by KathyPrior42



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor is in Hell for a Reason (Hazbin Hotel), Aromantic Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Autistic Alastor, Human Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29843289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathyPrior42/pseuds/KathyPrior42
Summary: Special thanks to StinkyRatBoy on Twitter
Relationships: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)/Author
Comments: 22
Kudos: 23





	1. My Mind Is Blown

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChaoticCourtJester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticCourtJester/gifts).



Part 1

Today, I discovered something mind-blowing about my favorite Hazbin Hotel character. On Twitter, a user by the name of “puppyclown struggle tweets” or “StinkyRatBoy” proposed a theory they had kept for a while. They claim: “Alastor is on the autism spectrum.” 

My first response in my mind? “Nonsense! Alastor is the most extraverted, sociable and manipulative character we’ve seen so far. You can’t just assume he has a neurological disorder out of nowhere! It’s an insult!”

But then I read their reasons for it…and it slowly clicked into place. As I read them, they began to make sense…it was a reflection of my own personality. Indeed, I am also asexual/aromantic and on the autism spectrum. Whether Vivziepop meant for Alastor to be on the spectrum remains uncertain at the moment. 

What did they say? Here is their first reason:

“Alastor is often speaking in a very loud voice, something that autistic people do since they have trouble regulating their volume.”

Reason 2:  
“He has little social awareness, telling Charlie to her face that he wants to see people fail and he doesn’t see why that would make her not want to partner with him.”

Reason 3:  
“He also doesn’t see why people constantly run away from him (as shown in the Alastor comic) getting pretty annoyed when people are too sacred to speak with him, despite him knowing of his reputation.”

Reason 4:  
“His discomfort with people touching him probably being a sensory problem, something I myself struggle with, despite not understanding other people’s physical boundaries, constantly dancing with them and pulling them into side hugs without permission.”

Reason 5:  
“Tying back to social problems, he sees Husk as a friend, despite how much Husk wants to make it clear that he doesn’t like being roped into Alastor’s schemes and interests. He reads Husk’s refusal as just him being in a bad mood.”

Reason 6:  
“His hyperfixation with radio, entertainment and old technology being so strong that it causes him to dislike it changing and becoming more modern and foreign to him. Entertainment is his special interest and he doesn’t want someone showing up and making it different.”

Reason 7:  
“Of course, there’s troubles with physical hygiene, something that autistic people are known to have a hard time with for any number of reasons.” 

Reason 8:  
“Him constantly smiling could also be his inability to emote the same way neurotypical people around him do, which is why people find it so strange.”

Reason 9:  
“One more thing! Hs little sound effects and song clips he plays are auditory stims. I said what I said.”

They certainly said it indeed! Despite me having autism as well, myself and the majority of fans didn’t fully pick up on those traits. We knew that the majority of the Hazbin characters were LGBTQ…but so far, there haven’t been any characters with physical or mental disabilities. If what StinkyRatBoy says is true…and if it’s confirmed by Vivziepop herself…it could be revolutionary, both in the show and real life. 

If Alastor has autism, it could add more depth to his backstory and his character. Being a French Creole colored asexual man in the early 1900s wouldn’t be the ideal status to have in the predominantly white straight male society. Many fans speculate that his mother was kind to him and taught him everything he knows about dancing, music, cooking and Voodoo culture. His father is often portrayed by fans as an abusive alcoholic who wanted to shape Alastor into the ideal “macho man,” that was expected at the time. (No “women’s” work, no theater, got to have sex with girls and provide for the family). His abuse toward Alastor and his mother may have laid the groundwork for Alastor’s decent into becoming a serial killer. 

With his expertise with radios, music and entertainment at a young age, it’s no wonder he became such a renowned broadcaster in New Orleans. Along with music being his special interest, it may have been the very thing that kept him sane when he was ruthlessly bullied by his peers, his father, and society in general. It was his escape, a mental state where he felt safe and secure. Entertainment represents the good side of him…the killing part is what got him into Hell. Murdering racist men and criminals may have been both a new special interest and his way of coping with the trauma he faced. In addition, Alastor’s name, means “spirit of vengeance,” thus it was also his way to get revenge on those who wronged him. Alastor’s side hobby of hunting deer and taxidermy may also have been a way to cope. 

Now in Hazbin Hotel, Charlie will have to find a way to redeem Alastor (and like Angel, Husk and Niffty, he can be redeemed, but it will not be easy). Charlie and the others will eventually learn of Alastor’s condition and his asexuality. (Many people on the spectrum also identify as asexual and have trouble with relationships). As demonstrated by the “Day In The Afterlife” comic, Alastor seeks true friendship and belonging, despite his sadistic nature. He has several allies like Mimzy, Rosie, Husk, Niffty and Charlie, yet also misses his mother. Alastor likes seeing others fail as it reminds him of his powerful status…but when he helps the other Hazbins (and betrays them), he may very well learn that he too, is a “lost cause.” More than ever, he wants to see his mother in Heaven…but he’ll have to develop for the better, first. Not to mention villains like Vox and maybe the angels might try to take advantage of his condition. (Does Heaven discriminate against those deemed “abnormal”?) 

Charlie will likely learn of his condition and help him better express his feelings without feeling vulnerable. “You’re never fully dressed without a smile” is a motto he’s lived by in both his lives. His smile is a mask he wears to hide his true feelings of loneliness and leftover trauma. (World War One, the Great Depression, the Spanish Flu, his death etc. is a new level of trauma!) Niffty will likely help out Alastor with his hygiene…even demons need to bathe, eat and sleep. (His yellow teeth, bags under his eyes, thin body and raggedy nails don’t help matters). Husk will teach Alastor about personal space…and hopefully, Alastor will free Husk and Niffty from working under him in the future. And Charlie of course, will help him get in touch with his feelings, creating a relationship of friendship, mentoring, and hints of romance. 

Embracing change and expressing feelings is very hard for those on the spectrum…but with therapy, effort and practice, it can be achieved by many. It will take a long time for Alastor to redeem himself, let alone allow himself to cry or fall in love. But the journey, rather than the Heaven destination, is what matters most. After overcoming his evil nature, Alastor will learn to embrace his feelings and condition…even if it means adapting to a moderate amount of change. (There are other ways to seek out justice and entertainment.) I bet his mother will be very proud of him once Alastor is able to make friends and truly be happy. 

Proper representation in media, matters, and Vivziepop has already gone above and beyond. A majority of her characters are LGBTQ or are in LGBTQ relationships. Representing someone with a disability will make the show all the more intriguing, and the characters more relatable. Her show deals with a variety of issues that young adults face in real life: sex, drugs, slavery, rebellion etc. With Alastor supposedly being both LGBTQ + and having a neurological disorder, it is a portrayal not often seen in many cartoons. 

Hopefully in a few years, we’ll get to see more of our deerly beloved radio host in the first season of Hazbin Hotel; we wish him all the best on his journey of redemption and friendship formations! 

Stay Tuned, Folks!


	2. Murder On The Air 3? (Teaser)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another "Murder On The Air?" The first one conformed to fan stereotypes about his abusive father...and you didn't even finish your recent one!

Don't worry, it's not an exact remake of a remake. In this version I'm formulating, Alastor has autism. He lives with his black nicer father (though still distant) and his mother, who has the same kind personality, but with slightly lighter skin. It will follow the same timeline and similar events as the Murder On The Air remake, but racism will play a larger role. It will also switch between Alastor's human life and his current life in Hell.

Oh and it has a new title: "At A Different Frequency."

Stay Tuned for more!


	3. Kathy Prior Comforts Alastor (self-insert)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Alastor is not my comfort character at all?
> 
> What if it's the other way around...

Another ordinary day at the Hazbin Hotel. Having died in the 2020’s due to covid, I appeared as a watered down human, not quite a demon unless influenced by Alastor’s dark magic. Originally I was going to be transformed into an angel reminiscent of my supposed spirit animal. But Heaven’s elitism rubbed me the wrong way, thus I refused to submit to God. I was banished down to Hell, living in a cardboard box. I was soon fleeing from the exterminators not too long afterwards. If they had gotten me, I’d either be killed or sent back to Heaven to be brainwashed as a white Exorcist. Then Alastor of all people decided to take me in and I arrived at the Hazbin Hotel. There I was good friends with Alastor, Charlie and Niffty, half convinced that they were the voice actors playing some kind of trick on me. 

Aside from my demon form that is activated by Alastor’s magic, my afterlife form wasn’t very impressive. I looked like I did when I was alive, except my skin was ghostly pale, my long hair was gray and my eyes had black sclera, purple irises and white pupils. Although I didn’t fit in with the other demons, I could see in the dark and my instincts were heightened. 

It’s not a lot of fun when Alastor possesses me or when he decides to swallow me whole. Apparently, there’s something powerful about me that allows him to heal, feel full and even get some rest. Often times, he sits me in front of a radio and has me listen to several of his favorite jazz songs. The little speakers start to glow and static buzzes in my head. His soothing voice washes over me and I find myself in a daze. My eyes glow red with moving black radio dials and my remaining thoughts are shoved to the back of my mind. Alastor soon has control of my body and mind. He calls the process “getting tuned in.” 

I then transform into an alligator/red doe hybrid demon named Cerva. In this form, I’m a vicious killer and cannibal who accompanies Alastor, Husk and Niffty on various missions. Using my sharp claws, teeth and some dark magic, I take down pedos, rapists, criminals or anyone that stands in the Radio Demon’s way. My scaly skin helps protect me from most attacks, though I can still be killed by angelic weapons like everyone else. When he releases control of me and I morph back, it feels like a great weight is lifted off my chest. I cannot remember what I did before. 

Like Husk and Niffty, I’m stuck under Alastor’s contract for a while. He persuaded me to work for him at the hotel and that “It’s a dangerous world outside.” Naturally I agreed. 

Today was fairly busy. Charlie had a meet and greet event to welcome the newcomers Crymini, Mimzy and Baxter. When I wasn’t greeting any guests, I helped Niffty clean the rooms, make the beds and sweep up the floors. Sometimes I would help Alastor and Niffty make tasty jambalaya (with spicy sauce) and other dishes to serve to all the clients. I wasn’t very good at poker but it was still fun to play and watch as Husk skillfully won almost every game. Often, the characters would mostly talk amongst themselves, me fading into the background, being an OC. I was fine with that…it was almost like watching the show I dearly loved on Earth…except now I was a part of it in a way.

After I finished cleaning beer bottles at the Jackpot portion near the lobby, I heard Alastor and Husk talking not too far away by a pool table. 

The cat demon let out his usual grumpy sigh. “Man, what a ruckus. I just served dozens of drinks to these annoying tourists who didn’t even stay. What’s the meaning of that?”

“Why Husker!” Alastor said with a laugh, “Ever since our three new demons arrived and signed up for Charlie’s program, more folks are becoming curious about it. Providing them with drinks and entertainment is surely the way to go!”

“Without any breaks?” Husk scowled. “And why’d you make me stretch my wings and do a stupid dance onstage when I got wasted earlier?”

“It was so funny, I had to!” he chuckled. “Even when you’re getting drunk, you can still do your new job well.”

“I’m here to serve drinks and get my money and booze. That’s it. I’m not some fucking clown you can roll into every little scheme of yours.”

“Hmm…maybe you are.”

“I don’t think so. Remember I’m only here because you bribed me with booze. But even that will only go so far.”

“Come now, my friend, why not liven up a little!” Alastor spoke in a loud voice, making Husk’s ears flinch back. “I provided you with some resources to make your life down here more…livable…or rather less dead.”

Audience laughter came from his microphone. 

Husk rolled his eyes and muttered. “Your dad jokes make you a fucking joke.” Alastor snickered. Husk seethed, “Ugh great, now it’s rubbing off on me!”

Alastor pulled Husk in close with his arm, much to the cat’s disgust. “Just have some fun and follow my orders and things will go smoothly. You are my good friend after all.”

Husk’s white furry face turned red as he hissed and shoved Alastor away. “I’m not your fucking friend! You’re nothing but a red psycho freak I happen to unfortunately work under. If I had my way, I’d be a rich free man who could gamble and do whatever I want! Better yet, I’d be far away from all you morons.”

Husk picked up a few cards and shuffled them in his hands. “I had a full house and was about to win the pot. And then you pulled me out of nowhere and placed me in this dump for your own amusement.” He pointed a claw into Alastor’s chest a few times, making him flinch a bit. “When ae you gonna get it past your egotistical head that I. Want. To. Be. Left. Alone?!”

An uncomfortable silence followed. Niffty briefly looked over while she was busy dusting a bookshelf with a white feather duster. 

“Looks like our pussy cat’s in his usual bad mood,” Alastor mused in his radio voice. He tilted up the corners of Husk’s mouth into a smile, which quickly fell when he let go. “You know I love to see that smile…”

“Shut up!” Husk pounded his furry fists onto the pool table, making the colored balls rattle. “Just shut the fuck up! I’m sick of you touching me all the time and getting into my face. I’d say you’re lost in this ridiculous musical world of yours…you think you can do anything you want but you don’t seem to be aware of who’s right in front of you!”

The large yellow smile remained on Alastor’s face, though his red eyes looked concerned and confused. 

“You’re delusional, thinking Hell revolves around you like some sort of audience.” Husk’s eyes had faint red veins popping out. “You may be powerful, but guess what? You can’t have your way all the time. I learned that lesson the hard way. I may be in your partnership for a while…” He hiccupped, “…but here’s what I really think of you…”

Husk’s breath smelled of booze as the cat spilled out his previously hidden angry thoughts. 

“You’re an insufferable…”

Every word was a jab to Alastor’s chest…

“Egotistical…”

He felt the shoves of surrounding boys in a long ago life…

“Filthy…”

The taunts of “dirty boy” and the n word…being forced into a tub of water, scrubbed all over roughly and feeling like he was drowning…

“Immature…”

Authority figures looking at him in disapproval as he auditioned for various radio stations…

“Maniacal…”

Alastor slashing down his hunting knife onto a helpless victim in a snowy wood…

“Heartless…”

Alastor dancing and flirting with pretty women but turning away when they tore desperately at his clothes…

“Couillon…”

Running away as police dogs bit and tore at his legs…

“Retard!”

Pounding on a door in a cold empty asylum room, cold stares from the towering wardens and nurses. Words like “loon”, “wacko,” being mouthed at him as the gray walls closed in…

A sharp record scratch pierced the air. 

A black and red gloved hand clutched at Husk’s throat. A tight grip lifted the cat several inches off the ground. He struggled to pry off Alastor’s hand, but his hold was firm. Husk struggled and gasped as he frantically tried to gulp for air. The room darkened and soon filled with radio static and floating red Voodoo symbols. Alastor’s large orbs turned pitch black, with small red dials twitching menacingly. He slowly brought Husk close to his face until they were almost nose to nose. 

He spoke in a low demonic radio voice, his mouth not moving.

“Remember who you’re dealing with. I gave you your privileges, and I can easily take them away.” 

Just when Husk was about to pass out, he casually tossed him aside. He landed with an “oof” onto the floor. The static and symbols vanished as Alastor’s eyes returned to their normal shade of red. Husk groaned and stood up on shaky legs. He took several deep breaths and glared. 

“Guess cats don’t always land on their feet,” Alastor mused as more microphone laughter followed. 

“Get ready for another big day tomorrow!” Alastor called cheerfully to Husk as if nothing had happened. Husk flipped him a middle claw in response as he slouched away. Alastor walked on.

“Oh Husk,” Niffty called out. “Don’t forget that you need another bath tomorrow. I‘ll be happy to clean you all up!”

“Suck it, shrimpy bitch!” he yelled.

“Language, kitty!”

Niffty hopped down from the bookshelf and scurried toward Alastor. He looked down at her. 

“Well hello little darling!” he greeted to the cyclops maid. 

“Hello Alastor,” she beamed. “I was just finishing up my rounds for the day when I heard you and Husk talking. It sounded like arguing…”

“Oh it was nothing, my dear! Just Husk in his grumpy cat mood as usual. I was trying to cheer him up.”

“Okay,” she said. “I’m looking forward to tomorrow, so much stuff to do! Is there anything else I can do to help out, sir?”

Alastor waved his hand, “Nothing at all. You did a splendid job today.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, her large golden eye darting back and forth. “You know, you look pretty dirty, no offence. Perhaps you could use a nice clean…” She looked over at his staff, then stared at the area around his legs a little bit too long. “Your staff I can so easily reach…”

She extended her hand with a hungry expression. 

“Ha! No.”

Alastor instinctively stepped back, his frozen smile still on his face. He walked briskly past her without another word. 

“See you in the morning!” she trilled with a happy wave before scurrying off.

The room was quiet and empty.

What in the world just happened?

A nagging feeling spread through me as I walked in the same direction as Alastor. It was a strange urge to go and talk with him. His tall frame strolled down the hall and up a flight of stairs. I silently followed, careful to stay a distance away and out of sight. As I almost entered my room, Room 42, the feeling compelled me to wander towards Alastor’s room instead. 

His room was across from Charlie’s and Vaggie’s, not too far away from Angel’s. The black door was etched with red Voodoo symbols and had a golden deer knocker. Strangely enough, he left it slightly open. I inched closer and peered through the opening into a dim room.

“Come in, dear.”

The door opened wider on its own, revealing Alastor sitting in a dark red throne-like chair on a small balcony. He was facing the sunset sky, but must have sensed my presence. He had taken off his red pinstriped suit and had it neatly folded on a chair, near where his staff was. He appeared to be wearing a dark red old fashioned nightgown with slippers made of deer fur. 

In the room, there was a king-size bed with red satin sheets on it, an elegant bedside table and dresser to match. A small chandelier made of bones hung from the ceiling in the center, illuminating blood red carpets decorated with small golden eyes and antlers in rows. There was a large vanity mirror framed by round theater lights and an array of softly lit candles here and there. And of course, there were old fashioned radios all over the room in various sizes. A four-eyed deer head stared back at me from a plaque on the fancy red wallpaper. More disturbing were the various skin-stitched Voodoo dolls and skulls hanging from the ceiling. 

A cool soothing evening breeze met my face as I stepped outside into the inferno air. I sank down into another chair next to Alastor. The sky was painted a brilliant red and orange, the magenta pentagram glowing and moving above like a revolving clock. 

“I didn’t mean to disturb you sir…” I began. A small radio sat beside Alastor, emitting radio noises and various sound clips. Strangely they sounded almost the same every time I heard them. In fact, his habit of using his microphone for sound effects…it was almost like a comfort mechanism for him. 

“Well usually at a time like this I do prefer to be alone, but since you were nearby…”

“I just…wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“I’m perfectly splendid, sweetheart, no need to worry.”

For a millisecond, his eyes told a different story. Not only did I have better senses, I could read expressions and sense intentions better as well. 

“I believe there is more than that. I heard you guys arguing. Frankly, Husk was being a bit of a jerk.”

Alastor waved his hand. “That’s what he does.”

“But it was different this time, wasn’t it?” 

Alastor just shrugged.

“Charlie and I were talking today and we both can agree: you can’t hide your feelings forever.”

“Whatever are you talking about?”

“I can sense that you are lonely, deep down. You want to find a place to belong but your sadistic nature makes others afraid of you. You’re afraid to trust other people.”

He turned to me with a deadly glare but I remained where I was. “If you’re planning on killing me, there’s no point as I’m already dead. Hear me out for a second.”

He paused and leaned back to listen. 

“I’m not saying you should reveal your sad secrets to everyone. I’m just saying you should embrace the fact that we all have vulnerabilities and bad days. It’s perfectly okay to cry once in a while. Perhaps your search for entertainment is more than just that. It’s a search for your mother, your friends, a search for your true place on the stage of life.”

“I’m never fully dressed without a smile,” he seethed with his plastic smile. “End of story. Since when has an audience member gave the star of the show directions?” he inquired, eyebrow raised. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“Well perhaps you need a better script,” I added, arms folded. I stared at his long yellowed nails, his gloves off for a rare moment. “And serious bodily care.”

A brief silence. Had I been anyone else, I’d be a pile of ash.

I continued. “Husk did have a point, though. He wanted to be left alone but you still decided to invade his space. You told Charlie that you want to see people fail, despite her not wanting to hear it. Plus, I’d expect an evil killer like you to take joy in the fact that people run away from you in fear. But you don’t like it. Because you seek something more.”

“I don’t need to hear your delusional words.”

“I’m more observant than you think. You created me to be submissive, but also tough and smart. It’s my duty to serve you and the hotel right now. And you bet your bottom dollar that me and your friends will try and do what’s best for everyone.”

More silence as we watched the sunset in deep thought. After several minutes, I turned to him and couldn’t believe what I saw. I spotted a stray tear fall from Alastor’s eye…and his smile slowly faded.

I covered my mouth with my hands as I let out a soft surprised gasp. 

His look alone told me that I’d be demon meat if I told anyone else. Fortunately, I never break my promise. 

I thought of all his behaviors I noticed and it suddenly clicked. There was the feeling again, a sense of a peculiar deep connection between me and him. And I figured out what it was.

“Alastor…do you know what autism is?”

He gave me a perplexed look. “Stop making things up.”

“It’s a real thing…but I imagine no one talked about it in your time. Autism is one of many developmental disorders that impairs socialization. Your behaviors appear to be very similar.”

Alastor growled, teeth bared in warning. “I can assure you that I’m perfectly talkative enough. You call me dumb and I can easily…”

“I know because I have it too.”

Alastor’s eye twitched. “What?”

“Do any of these traits sound familiar to you? Being a nerdy child lost in your own world? Being preoccupied and very skilled in your many talents as you grew up? Never quite fitting in with your peers no matter how hard you try?”

Nothing was heard but the sounds of radio glitches. Orange light glinted off his monocle under his right eye.

“Those with autism are often very knowledgeable, setting their minds to something and never letting go of it. But they have a hard time seeing things from another person’s perspective. It’s not that they are antisocial and heartless. Rather, they feel things deeply…but they don’t know how to communicate properly with others around them. Some of them aren’t interested in romance, either.”

Alastor rolled his eyes. “I have shows to plan for my demonic audience. I don’t have time for feelings and…”

I continued on. “You’re content with living in your own world of radios, music and murder…because for you, it was the only way to survive and make yourself known in your previous life. Communicating through the radio, playing music, dancing and singing on stage… that is when you feel truly alive. Because your listeners hang onto your every word, not caring who you are on the outside.”

His pupils grew slightly. “You’re making assumptions. You’re forgetting about murder…”

“Bringing joy to others outweighs bringing suffering...at least that’s how it should be. There’s nothing wrong with doing what you love…except when it causes harm to others.”

“Demons kill and eat other all the time. Surely you must know that sometimes death and torture are necessary.”

“You do have a good point. But…I’m talking about your previous life, and why you were sent down here…”

“I killed those racist bastards for good reasons. When you discover there’s an afterlife full of magic, you go out of you way to make deals for power. It’s what I’ve been doing for years. It’s impossible to be sinless, for sinners lost their chance to ascend the moment they died on Earth!”

“But it doesn’t have to be that way. Say we take the necessary steps to prove Heaven wrong…”

“Heheheh, there you go, sounding delusional like Charlie.”

“Just be glad I’m not as distrustful or hateful of men as Vaggie.”

“Angel Dust is probably worse…”

I chuckled out loud at that. “Personal space isn’t in his vocabulary.”

I took a breath. “Look Alastor, I’m not saying it will be all be rainbows like Charlie claims. I’m just saying it’s not impossible to redeem sinners. Back to the main topic: we both have autism. Your special interests are radios, entertainment, murder and dark magic.”

Alastor made a face and shook his head. “That term you mentioned didn’t exist when I was alive,” he said. “Anyone who was considered strange or deviant were ignored at best. At worst, they were arrested, killed or thrown into asylums. If it weren’t for my beloved mother…I would’ve wasted away a long time ago. And despite enjoying the company of beautiful ladies, I’ve never had much interest in intimacy. My broadcasting career was my life.”

This time I listened quietly. He continued. “I’m only telling you all this because you technically don’t exist in the Hazbin timeline. And because…I can trust you enough, like Charlie and Rosie and Mimzy…”

He sighed again. “Like a skilled actor, I learned not just how to present myself on the air. Thanks to my mama, I learned how to socialize and mimic others around me. It was a way for me to be confident in the face of daily disdain. Smiling became my way of life…my survival skill. If I were to cry and appear weak, who knows what might’ve happened to me. Eventually I became famous for my broadcasting and my music all throughout Louisiana, but it still wasn’t quite enough. I then found another coping mechanism…”

The aura around him grew red…

“One that made me feel like I found my place in the world. How good it felt when I could hear their screams…see the life leave their eyes. How from the moment their bodies turned cold, I knew they could never take advantage of me and my family again…”

His black antlers arched slightly past his face. He lowered his head as static faded in and out. Here was the infamous and ferocious Radio Demon pouring out his secrets to me. I almost didn’t know what to say.

He covered his eyes with his hands, long fingers in claw shapes almost tearing at his pale gray skin. His voice broke in a record scratch…and this time he spoke without the radio effect, barely audible: “I miss her so much.” His fluffy ear tufts briefly drooped as he conjured the loving smiling brown face of his French Creole mother in his head. 

We sat in silence for a while. “I hope you can see her again,” I said. “But…you need to have faith. Not in Charlie’s program per se…but in yourself. I know change is hard…I’m not saying go play with dogs and use new technology. I mean, don’t be afraid to explore your feelings, figure out what you truly want in your second life.” 

Alastor’s remaining tears sizzled off his face and his tufts lifted back up. “That’s easy. I want to entertain others and have everyone do what I want…endlessly feast on flesh and never be bored…”

“We both know it doesn’t work like that. What you want is nothing compared with what you need. You need love. Friends. The joys of music and a purpose. Instead of killing individuals…you need to kill off your own barriers.”

“Easier said than done. What if I don’t want to change?”

“You’ll either spiral downward into madness, or you’ll slowly change for the better while still retaining your good qualities. If you want to see your mother in Heaven, you’re gonna have to put in some effort. I may sound like Charlie when I say this but…I know you can do it.”

Alastor gradually relaxed, his antlers retreating back to their usual stumps. He soon stood up, anxious to have some space. “Thank you for this lovely chat. Now I’m off to read my scripts and go to bed for a little.”

I stood up and followed. “How long do you usually sleep?”

“Thirty minutes,” he shrugged. “I rest by the wall with my eyes open.”

I gasped out loud and bared my teeth. “Not on my watch, mister. Get into bed, now!”

“Deer don’t need sleep.”

I put my hands on my hips. “Everyone needs sleep, especially you! I promise nothing is going to happen. Your shadow will guard your room and suck the soul out of any intruder. Plus you have several friends and kingpins who are loyal to you. You want to truly be the star, Alastor? Start by taking care of yourself. You are the most important person in your life.”

Alastor smirked. “Like I don’t already know that.”

“Good. Now rest.”

I turned to leave before I freeze. Gathering my courage, I turned to Alastor who sat on the bed. “Alastor…may I give you a hug?”

He stared at me, taken aback. No one had ever asked him for a hug before. He almost flinched when I slowly walked toward him. 

After a moment, his face softened. “Just this once.” He leaned into my arms and chest. I got over my brief surprise by returning the embrace, my eyes closed, tears falling. I opened them and saw to my utter delight, his fluffy red and black deer tail wagging a bit! We soon parted and he wiped the tears from my face with his fingertips.

“Now darling, don’t forget to smile! You’re never fully dressed without one.”

I laughed through my tears. His charm worked every time. “Hey, don’t forget to ask people if they want to be touched before you do so. That’s lesson one.”

“You’re my servant, not my teacher,” he spoke up.

I spread out my arms. “This is Hell, Alastor, we can be anything. The world is a stage after all!”

Alastor chuckled, but I sensed that he wasn’t content with taking my advice any time soon. But I had tried nonetheless. 

We bid our goodnights, me feeling slightly better. Just before I closed Alastor’s door and headed for my room, his whisper of a voice floated by my ears:

“Thank you Ms. Prior. Stay tuned.”


End file.
